How women can get a man

Go Out Looking for a Good Time—Not Your Future Husband
Super-attractor Rule No. 1: Don’t go hunting. “Too many girls focus on meeting The One when they should be looking for a tasty drink and a fun night out,” says Amber Kallor, a 26-year-old in New York City who’s known for getting guys of all stripes—hipsters, bankers, sailors, you name it—hopelessly hooked. “When you’re out seeking your ‘penguin’—you know, because penguins mate for life—men sense that, and no guy wants or needs that kind of pressure.” Adam LoDolce, a Boston-based dating coach and author of Being Alone Sucks!: How to Build Self-Esteem, Confidence and Social Freedom to Transform Your Dating and Social Life (cheesy title, solid advice), agrees. “There’s nothing more appealing than the girl who carries herself like she’s having a good time,” he says. “Who wouldn’t want to be around her?” So buy your own martini, and enjoy yourself. That’s penguin bait.

Never Bash Other Women
Another insight man magnets share: Being catty will get you nowhere with guys. Men want to know that you’re confident. “Think about it: If you two start dating, he has a mom, sisters and female friends he’ll want you to spend time with,” says Marie Salazar, 29, a marketer from San Francisco whose male buddies are all in love with her (or so say her annoyed girl-friends). “Showing a guy that it won’t be a nightmare to bring you to a family dinner is a good first step.” Philadelphian Meredith Klein, 23, sums it up this way: “Someone else’s strengths don’t make you look bad—but being jealous and insecure does.”

Be Easy
We’re not talking Jersey Shore easy; we’re talking easygoing. Guys are drawn to girls they can picture having fun with in either a dive bar or a schmancy restaurant. “Men appreciate that I can hang with their friends, kill it at a work event and chill at home,” says New Yorker LaNora Williams-Clark, 32, who has been single for a total of three months since she started dating more than 15 years ago. “It boils down to charm and an ability to roll with the punches.”

Related: The Top 10 Ways to Wake Up Prettier

Don’t Dress for Girls
The super-trendy stuff you’d wear to impress your friends often leaves men cold. Guys Glamour spoke to gave the thumbs-down to maxidresses (“They cover too much skin,” says Rob, 38), rompers (“How do you even pee?” asks Thomas, 36) and harem pants (“MC Hammer is calling,” quips Kyle, 30). But you don’t have to squeeze into a Kardashidress to get his attention, either. What’s universally sexy, according to men? A woman in a white tee, cute-butt jeans and a pair of heels. Done and done.

Be (Genuinely) Busy
This trick’s not about playing hard to get; it’s about having so much great stuff going on in your world that he wants to be a part of it. “Women who are genuinely busy feel more fulfilled, are happier and are more confident—three powerful magnets for attracting men,” says Angelica Perez-Litwin, Ph.D., a Nyack, New York, psychologist and relationship counselor. Says Mickelle Jackson, 30, a school administrator from Trenton, New Jersey, who’s had more than a few male friends confess romantic feelings: “If a man has to choose between a clingy beauty and an unavailable average girl, he will choose average every time.”

Two Words: No Bitching
When your crazy boss is blowing up your iPhone after hours and your sister is insisting you wear pistachio-and-melon-striped chiffon to her wedding, it can be easy to slip into a monologue about why life sucks. Don’t! “It makes you look like a drama queen, and if there’s one thing all guys hate, it’s drama,” says Christina Nguyen, a 31-year-old from Minneapolis who’s been told her fun-loving attitude makes her memorable. LoDolce agrees: “It’s impossible to flirt if you’re complaining.”

See also: Fall 2011’s Most Wearable Trends

Let Him See Your Ambitious Side
It’s a corollary of “be busy”: Guys like women who have passions in life, so show yours! “When my husband and I were dating, he would always tell me how much my ambition inspired him to be better,” says Jessica Guberman, 34, a vice president of marketing and development for a national nonprofit in Princeton, New -Jersey. For Alexa Carlin, 20, of Wellington, Florida, fulfilling her dream of running her own fashion company caused a noticeable spike in male attention: “Girls who are motivated to accomplish their dreams show drive and determination—guys love those qualities.” Sharing your goals up front also affects the type of guy you attract. “High-quality men are drawn to ambitious women,” LoDolce believes. “I hate when women worry about intimidating men. If a guy is intimidated by you, he doesn’t deserve you.” Amen to that.

Be the Person You Want to Date
Sounds simple, but you can’t seek a man who is secure, self-assured and emotionally evolved if you’re not all of those things yourself. It’s basic relationship karma! “If you wouldn’t want to date yourself, then how can you expect someone else to want to date you?” says Lina Shivangi, a 31-year-old marketing director from Austin, Texas. Nadarah Butler, 31, a doctor living in Los Angeles who has never gone more than a year without a serious boyfriend, agrees: “If you haven’t figured out who you are yet, you can’t possibly know what you want in a guy.”

How to fix the black community

1) Create no nonsense Skills & trade programs for unemployed & under skilled individuals.
Offer these programs to Non violent drug offenders ( drug dealers ) instead of incarcerating them. This way they can have a career & skill to be gainfully employed.

2) END the stop snitching campaign. Yes I'm from the hood & I know people will take some time to change their mentality. However I think We have to change b/c the Definition of insanity is repeating the same action & expecting different results. Obviously the stop snitching & allowing criminals to get away with crimes have not improved our communities. Therefore we have to switch tactics & instead of protecting individual criminals we should be protecting & revitalizing our neighborhoods. Another idea which has been frowned down on in the black community is cooperating with law enforcement. However under the premise that non violent offenders will be instead of incarcerated introduced to programs to improve quality of life.

3)Reach out to large corporations & wealthy Black Americans. These people have the resources to create & build businesses & create robust economic growth within the black community. Hiring & continuing the training of black employees. Create black banks where black entrepreneurs can receive loans to further increase black financial independence & prosperity. Gentrify our neighborhoods our self. Bring in profitable companies. With out radically raising the property value of the neighborhood. The point of this is to allow people within that neighborhood & reap the benefits of the economic prosperity. Slowly raising the property value so that they can maintain & their income can also grow to reflect the change. This will Allow residents to fully benefit from the Gentrification with out forcing them out like it has traditionally.

4)We have to end the dependence on the government. Of course we have to work with politicians & govt programs to go through the transition. However we have to drastically change social programs. We shouldn't be reliant of these programs long term. We should invest more in training & giving black people skills to become employed & entrepreneurs. Our goal should be to become self reliant business owners & skillfully employed citizens who can stand on our own feet.